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Spring - Summer 1983 


A quarterly, Governors State University, Park Forest South, IL 60466 

Vol. 6, No. 3 S/S 1983 

Published under the auspices of the Provost's Office, © Governors State University and Helen Hughes ISSN 0736-4733 


Helen E. Hughes, Editor 
Lynn Thomas Strauss, Managing Editor 
Joan Lewis, Editorial Consultant 
Suzanne Oliver, Art Director 

Leone Giroux Middleton, Graphic Designer 


Donna Bandstra, Social Sciences 

Margaret Brady, Journalism 

Rev. Ellen Dohner, Religion 

Rita Durrant, League of American Penwomen 

Ann Gerhart, Women's Networking 

Harriet Gross, Sociology/Woman's Studies 

Helene Guttman, Biological Sciences 

Mimi Kaplan, Library Resources 

Young Kim, Communications Science 

Harriet Marcus Gross, Journalism 

Elizabeth Ohm, Library Resources 

Betye Saar, Fine Arts 

Sara Shumer, Political Theory 

Emily Wasiolek, Literature 

Rev. Elmer Witt, Campus Ministries 

Table of contents 


Introduction by Lynn Thomas Strauss 3 

Twilight of the Gods by Doug Knox 5 

"Hues", a poem by Margaret Brady 8 

What the World Needs Now 

by James M. Reed 9 

Women's Liberation: Ten Years Later 

by Walter S. Feldman 11 

Animus and Anima : The Woman's Man and 

the Man's Woman 

by Michael L. Dimitroff 14 

Tootsie , a Father-Son Review 

by David and Eric Matteson 17 

Bootsie by Donald H. Wheat 20 

The Name-Change Game 

by Ed Bailey-Mershon 21 

Book Review: The New Male - Femal e 

Relationship by Herb Goldberg 

Reviewed by Jim Saul and Elizabeth 
An Al bum of Fathers 
Queen Love by Edwin Bruell 
Mother Reconsidered by Joe Agne 
Experiences of a Men's Group 

by Lynn Thomas Strauss 
Four Poems by Michael Chandler 
Book Review: J_n the Shade of Spring 

Leaves by Robert Lyons Danly 

Reviewed by Carolyn Carmichael 37 

Men Changing: A Bibliography 

by Peggy Jeffers 39 

Letters to the Editor 42 

Announcements 43 

About our Staff 44 

Editor's Column by Helen E. Hughes 45 

Ohm 22 






COVER photograph © 1966 by Jan Saudek, 
"Image #35, the man holding a newborn baby". 
Permission granted by the Jacques Baruch 
Gallery, 900 North Michigan Avenue, Chicago. 

This issue was typed on the Lexitron 
word processor by Lynne M. Hostetter, 

The Creative Woman is a quarterly 
published by Governors State University. 
We focus on a special topic in each 
issue, presented from a feminist 
perspective. We celebrate the creative 
achievements of women in many fields 
and appeal to inquiring minds. We 
publish fiction, poetry, book reviews, 
articles, photography and original 
graphics . 


The Creative Woman is grateful to all who have contributed to this issue. 
But we give special thanks to the men who have trusted us enough to explor sensi- 
tive personal issues and to share their lives and feelings with our readers. 

Women have learned to speak and listen to other women, some men are learning 
to speak and listen to other men; these have been important tasks. Now it is time 
for women and men to come together in a new way. The Creative Woman is pleased 
to participate in the beginning of a new kind of dialogue between women and men: 
dialogue painful and difficult, but the essential next step toward liberation for 
every person. 

Doug Knox in our lead article, "Twilight of the Gods," examines the histori- 
cal roots of the patriarchy and the critical role of the scientific revolution. 
The inevitable destruction of our world can be prevented, according to Knox, by 
the feminists, who will lead the way to a holistic, integrative, symbiotic parti- 
cipation in reality. 

As women take the lead in creating this new reality, Jim Reed, in his article 
"What the World Needs Now," addresses the question of what the male role might be. 
And as in the song by the same title, his answer is that the world needs love and 
men can be lovers, in the best and broadest sense of the word. Male protection 
and male dominance are no longer necessary or desirable, but all of life needs to 
be loved and nurtured and men can help to fulfill that critical role in new ways. 

Walter Feldman provides a psychiatrist's perspective on the impact of the 
women's movement, appraised after a decade of activism. Following Feldman' s arti- 
cle are several pieces and reviews which examine the sex role stereotypes so per- 
vasive in western culture. Michael L. Dimitroff explores the Jungian concepts of 
animus and anima . There is a father/ son review of the current popular movie, 
"Tootsie" by Dave and Eric Matteson followed by Don Wheat's hypothetic script for 
a movie to be called "Bootsie." Reviewers Elizabeth Ohm and Jim Saul give us a 
female and male perspective on a new book by Herb Goldberg, the author of The 
Hazards of Being Male . 

All of these authors seem to agree that much is to be gained by allowing all 
people to develop both male and female attributes. 

There are also personal stories presented here, told by men about male ex- 
perience and male emotion. Edwin Bruell writes about the range of feelings of a 
father on his daughter's wedding day. Ed Bailey-Mershon shares the frustrations 
inherent in confronting bureaucratic systems with a new idea. One man's view of 
his mother and the meaning of her life and death is told by Joe Agne. And mem- 
bers of a men's group share something of the significance of male friendship in 
their lives. 

Also presented are moving poems by Michael Chandler and Margaret Brady, a 
book review by Carolyn Carmichael and a bibliography by Peggy Jeffers. 

All of this is offered as tentative exploration and joyful celebration of a 
new level of love and cooperation between women and men grounded in mutual under- 
standing and respect. 

With this issue I say goodbye to The Creative Woman after five enriching 
years. I am grateful to our editor, our staff and all those who have given sup- 
port and encouragement to our efforts. My understanding of the significance of 
art in life has been greatly enhanced. Farewell. 


to evolve, all of life must maintain a 
delicate balance with every aspect of 
the surrounding environment or die. 

"For the scientist who has lived by 
his faith in the power of reason, the 
story ends like a bad dream. He has 
scaled the mountains of ignorance; he is 
about to conquer the highest peak; as he 
pulls himself over the final rock, he is 
greeted by a band of theologians who 
have been sitting there for centuries." 
(From God and the Astronomers by Robert 
Jastrow. ) 

by Doug Knox 

Yin is the integrative principle. 
It is thought of as female. Yang is the 
reductive principle, thought of as male. 
They are polar opposites between which 
the fundamental rhythms of the universe 
continuously cycle. It is a mistake to 
think of them as separate: every indi- 
vidual contains both in a continuously 
changing balance. 

Humanity is imbedded in the cosmos, 
living in a continuous, interconnecting 
web of reality which, until recently, 
has been largely ignored. Lewis Thomas 
says in The Lives of a Cell that life is 
a nonequilibrium steady state in which 
solar energy flowing to Earth "rearrang- 
es matter in symmetry, away from proba- 
bility, against entropy, lifting it so 
to speak, into a constantly changing 
condition of rearrangement and molecular 
ornamentation. " 

Ilya Prigogine won the 1977 Nobel 
prize in chemistry for his theory of 
dissipative structures. This theory 
advances an explanation of why life 
evolves into higher and higher orders 
of disequilibrium. Equilibrium is a 
characteristic of chaos: the absence 
of organization. 

Prigogine points out that there is 
a cosmic dynamic urging evolution on to 
the next higher level. But disaster 
always threatens. Despite the pressure 

The scientists, theologians, and 
philosophers on the mountain top have 
decided that there must be some design, 
some intent inherent in the cosmos. The 
cosmos cannot be regarded as only a vast 
accumulation of matter and energy gov- 
erned by laws of statistical probability. 
Let's look at a few of the inexplicable 
events that have forced them to this 
conclusion: A. The singularity of the 
Big Bang. B. There was no oxygen in 
the primordial atmosphere of Earth. The 
first life, prokaryotic cells, began the 
release of oxygen to the atmosphere by 
photosynthesis, a process still carried 
on by the blue-green algae, still replen- 
ishing the atmosphere. C. Oxygen hap- 
pens to be an efficient energy source 
for plant and animal metabolism. D. 
Oxygen also happens to filter out dead- 
ly ultraviolet light, permitting life 
to spread across the Earth's surface. 

E. The mean temperature of the Earth's 
surface is in the range where water is 
liquid, an essential for evolution. 

F. The sun is a main sequence star 
which means it has a life span between 
10 and 15 billion years, also an essen- 
tial for evolution. G. Primordial 
evolution was too slow. Accordingly, 
asexual reproduction in which an organ- 
ism divided into two identical organisms, 
changed to sexual reproduction where one- 
half the nucleus from each of two differ- 
ent individuals combine to form a new 
individual, where mutation could occur 

by gene jumping, errors in combination 
of the nucleus as well as by cosmic rays. 
H. Death appeared. Death shortened the 
reproduction cycle which speeded evolu- 
tion. Death also limited the sheer bulk 

of life forms. I. Evolution is not as 
Darwin supposed, slow and continuous. 
It takes inexplicable leaps, although 
most of the time mutations provide vari- 
ations within a species which are then 
selected by environmental changes. J. 
Finally, a sudden massive development of 
the neocortex occurred to create homo 
sapiens. (It is interesting to note 
that dolphins and whales have comparable 
development of the neocortex.) 

Because of these incredibly fortui- 
tous events, a Ph.D. friend of mine 
believes the human race will survive in 
spite of itself. Humanity will not be 
allowed to commit suicide. He has no 
idea how this will come about but he is 
unshakably optimistic that the process 
that put us here will intervene. Other- 
wise, even he admits that Carl Sagan may 
be optimistic in giving humanity one 
chance in a thousand of surviving until 
the year 2000. 

The intuitive belief in an earth 
mother died slowly, however. Most of 
the peoples of Earth were people of the 
soil. So for about 30,000 years while 
the patriarchal systems of government 
and religion evolved, the majority of 
people lived with the memory of an 
earth mother, celebrated through rites 
of birth, bonding, seasons, planting, 
harvest and death. All of this changed 
during the 17th century. Humanity with 
the enthusiasm of innocence decided to 
assume mastery of the Earth. 

Rene Descartes and Sir Isaac Newton 
began a philosophy of thought and a 
train of events that banished the earth 
mother and solidified the remorseless 
patriarchy of today. It is enormously 
important to understand how the genius 
of these two men shapes your and my 
perception of reality. For unless we 
change this perception we are doomed — 
even without nuclear warheads. 

Lewis Thomas is not as concerned 
with the process as the end result. He 
describes the planet Earth as alive, a 
single living cell where everything 
about it, the life on its surface, the 
atmosphere sheltering it from the sun's 
rays, the heat of the interior, the rich 
store of minerals, the water, and the 
clouds, all make one living organism. 

Homo sapiens appeared 40,000 years 
ago. Primitive humanity shared Lewis 
Thomas' view that the Earth was a living 
organism which provided the necessities 
of life. Earth was a mother. Women 
also were mothers with the mystical 
ability of reproduction. Matriarchy was 
paramount. But at some point primitive 
men discovered that they were necessary 
for reproduction. With this knowledge 
and their superior strength they imposed 
patriarchy on primitive society. They 
created a spirit world to replace matri- 
archy and peopled it with demons and 
witches. Then as they became more 
sophisticated they introduced multiple 
gods symbolizing their fantasies and 
desires, until finally in a moment of 
exceptional arrogance they installed one 
god as the patriarchal surrogate which 
they would someday replace. 

Descartes regarded the universe as 
a perfect machine, without life, spirit, 
or purpose, governed by exact laws which 
need only be discovered to provide man 
with control. This is the Cartesian 
philosophy. Newton formulated the math- 
ematical laws of motion which were shown 
to apply throughout the solar system and 
the universe, thus confirming the Car- 
tesian view of nature as being absolute- 
ly deterministic; every effect has a 
cause which can be determined indepen- 
dent of the observer. 

But there is gathering evidence 
that the human condition has evolved 
beyond the realm of the Cartesian-New- 
tonian philosophy. Cartesian-Newtonian 
philosophy still works very well in the 
solution of limited dimension problems, 
but is hopelessly inadequate for solving 
complex, multidimensional interrelation- 
ships: exactly the universe into which 
humanity has evolved. The scientific 
revolution served as the rite of passage. 

Let's examine an example for evi- 
dence of the catastrophe the Cartesian- 
Newtonian mind-set is precipitating. 
Two hundred and four legislators in the 
House of Representatives have ordered 


the deaths of their wives, children, 
grandchildren, parents and neighbors. 
Every day over 50,000 men and women 
report to work, where they build nuclear 
warheads. They will tell you that they 
have to earn a living like everyone else, 
Several million government officials, 
government employees and military per- 
sonnel accept the carefully orchestrated 
government-sponsored mass media campaign 
that a nuclear "exchange" is coming and 
will be survivable. They accept this 
because they understand that the only 
reason for the new weapon system just 
funded, excluding the gluttony of the 
military-industrial complex, is as a 
first strike weapon. Jimmy Carter cut 
his teeth on nuclear submarines, and 
whatever you may think of him as a pres- 
ident, he knew submarines. He pointed 
out that one nuclear submarine could hit 
every major city in the Soviet Union and 
there were always at least four on pa- 
trol — hidden, undetectable, somewhere in 
the oceans of the world. There was not 
then, nor in the foreseeable future, a 
nuclear imbalance with the Soviets. 
More nuclear weaponry is totally unnec- 
essary. Overkill is the ultimate Car- 
tesian-Newtonian absurdity. A favorite 
European cartoon shows Reagan and Bresh- 
nev standing ankle deep in a pool of 
gasoline, counting book matches. Reagan 
says, "I have eight." Brezhnev says, "I 
have ten. " 

Humanity acts as though we could 
create on Earth a world of our own de- 
sign. We cut the forests, we lay waste 
the soil, we pollute the rivers, we 
poison the rain, we strangle the atmos- 
phere, we exterminate the fish of the 
oceans, we exterminate the whales, the 
buffalo, approximately 50 species of 
life each year, and now at last we make 
plans to exterminate ourselves. Human- 
ity cuts an ever widening path of de- 
struction across the face of the planet 

The shift from a Cartesian-Newton- 
ian paradigm to a holistic, integrative, 
interrelated symbiotic participation in 
reality will require a profound change 
in our patterns of living. Capitalism 
has outlived its usefulness. Communism 

as practiced is as savage a tyranny as 
dictatorship. Nuclear weapons have 
forced humanity to outgrow the nation- 
state and militarism. Einstein on being 
consulted for the Manhattan project 
wrote a letter in which he observed, 
"This basic power of the universe cannot 
be fitted into the outmoded concept of 
narrow nationalism. For there is no 
secret and there is no defense: there 
is no possibility of control except 
through the aroused understanding and 
insistence of the peoples of the world." 

Where will we find enough people 
with the energy, spirit, and knowledge 
to lead the way? Capra in The Turning 
Point suggests one. The feminists; the 
thoughtful, determined, energetic femin- 
ists. Remember Yin was integrative — 
thought of as female. Life's ceaseless- 
ly moving cycle must swing back toward 
Yin. The hated patriarchal edict, 
"biology is destiny" becomes in Yin a 
discipline of strength. Forty thousand 
years of natural selection has genetic- 
ally programmed women to be integrative — 
holistic. Women instinctively pay 
attention to the entire context of their 
lives. Women understand reliability, 
consistency, mutual interdependence, 
sensitivity, commitment to life-sustain- 
ing values, compromise, cooperation. 
Both men and women ask me, "What is a 
feminist? Why look to them?" I look to 
them and Capra looks to them because 
neither of us doubts the outcome if 
patriarchy is not vanquished. 

Feminism is the attempt of women 
to become themselves, to discover them- 
selves, to know themselves, to hear 
themselves, to name themselves — creating 
their own language where necessary, 
bursting the boundaries of existing lan- 
guages, philosophies, concepts, methods 
of thought, processes of living wherever 
it serves the purposes of their newly 
liberated woman-consciousness. Femin- 
ists are throwing off the shackles of 
30,000 years of repression: they insist 
upon being recognized. Females never 
again will be breeding stock, subordi- 
nate to men. Never again will women 
veil their faces, hide their bodies, 
display their bodies, deform their 

bodies, pervert their sex, paint their 
faces, adorn themselves unless they 
perceive such actions to be creative 
expressions of their essential selves. 
Women are the half of humanity with the 
potential for breaking the shackles of 
patriarchy. And I, for one, will re- 
joice when they sing the requiem for 

the gods, releasing humanity to return 
to its place in the web of reality. 
(This is a shortened version of an 
address first delivered by Doug Knox, 
August 22, 1982. Mr. Knox is a writer 
who lives in Manhattan Beach, California 
and was trained in engineering.) 


Fingers reach through the 

now watery suds, 

stroking dishes, cups, knives . . . 

5 p.m. and I wait for you. 

Outside a rain begins 

and the earth turns over. 

The roses outside my bedroom window 

accept the wetness, 

the moist gift, 

and sink deeper into dark earth. 


words I could never speak 

hung between our two newspapers. 

And we were left in the dusk 

the quiet, 


My own rain fell, then, 

and I was covered in clouds, 

layers and layers of rich thickness. 

And after the rain, 

I came to see rose petals, their hues now ashen in the 

remaining light. 

I came to discover the sky after a rain, 

the layers of colors descending, 

one upon the other, 

a rich thickness absorbing all light. 


by Reverend James M. Reed 

I was a freshman in high school 
when I stopped kissing my father good- 
night. I vividly recall the evening. 
I had thought it out: I was too old to 
be engaged in this childlike action, 
that anyway, men don't kiss. I kissed 
my mother, then walked over to where my 
father was seated and offered a hand- 
shake rather than a kiss. He was some- 
what taken aback but accepted by explan- 
ation with good grace. As I went to my 
bedroom, I felt a sharp pang, the reali- 
zation that I had surrendered something 
infinitely precious. The next time 1 
kissed my father was 26 years later — he 
lay dead in the hospital. Death had 
outsped my rush to his bedside. 

When I was thirty I was blessed 
with the birth of a son. He grew up a 
charming person, and I richly enjoyed 
his young years, the years when I was 
ever the wise authority, the sought 
after companion. I melted to his hugs 
and kisses, the touch of his small hand 
in mine as we crossed streets or worked 
our way through crowds. But of course 
there came the time when we no longer 
dared to touch each other — it isn't what 
men do. Except that I served a church 
filled with affection and when we were 
on retreats, the women taught us men 
that we could pass the peace with a hug. 
How easy it was when a woman was next to 
us, and how awkward, when a man. But we 
learned. My son was sometimes a part of 
those retreats, and there at least we 
learned to touch each other again. So 
now we're able to embrace when we meet, 
a bit awkwardly still, but we do it! 

Psychologists tell us that a trau- 
matic moment takes place in the life of 
a boy when he realizes for the first 
time that girls can do everything that 
he can do . . . and have babies as well. 
One of the reasons that male clergy have 
been so resistant to women being or- 
dained is simply that being a pastor is 
one of the few caring professions in 
which a man can still be regarded as a 

man. A man who seeks to be a teacher or 
a social worker is apt to be looked at 
askance, and a man who chooses to be a 
nurse must be prepared to have his man- 
hood questioned. But a pastor has al- 
ways been affirmed in his masculinity, 
though his profession is identified with 
characteristics usually associated with 
the feminine. Imagine the threat then 
as women enter the profession, women who 
can presumably do "naturally" what the 
profession requires. 

No, it's not easy to be a man in 
today's world. Whatever uniqueness we 
have seems to be pushed off to the peri- 
phery of life — to sports and taverns and 
lodges and wars. In bad times we lose 
our jobs, lose our status, lose our 
pride, and then who are we, what do we 
count for? The women and children step 
into the breach, keep busy with the li- 
turgies of life, somehow find odd jobs 
and ways of stretching the dollar while 
they build up our morale and bear our 
anger and outrage. 

Can we at such times realize that 
it's just as hard to be a woman, just 
as hard to be a youth? Can we perceive 


Chat our women and our children desper- 
ately need us — not as money producers, 
not as heroic leaders, not as wise coun- 
selors--but simply as lovers. Can we 
get hold of the reality that what the 
world needs above everything else is men 
who have learned to be lovers: lovers 
of the stranger and the outcast? While 
women are birthing and nurturing chil- 
dren, while children are suffering the 
pains of growing up, while our brothers 
and neighbors, strangers and outcasts, 
are being buffeted by the world, we can 
be what Jesus was to his disciples, what 
Jesus commanded his disciples to be: 

I give you a neio commandment: 
love one another. As I have 
loved you, so you must love 
one another. 

Book of John 

It seems that from our earliest 
remembrance we were turned away from 
love. We were urged to engage in com- 
petitve sports so that we could grow to 
engage in a competitive world. We were 
taught to honor strength and power and 
learned to be ashamed if we were 
unskilled in sports, unable to defeat 
the bully in personal combat, uninter- 
ested in the kill of the hunt, attracted 
to the arts, to music, to dance, to po- 
etry and literature, to the solitary 
pleasures of the forests. We learned 
that we men were to run things, to be 
in charge, even if that held no interest 
for us. We learned that we were to 
glory in violence, that we were to march 
off enthusiastically to war. 

And we learned that women were a 
lesser breed who needed our domination, 
who existed to serve our needs and our 
pleasure. In elementary school the dir- 
ty comic books were passed around, the 
jokes were made, the images imprinted. 
We were convinced that love centered in 
sex and sex centered in a kind of vio- 
lence. When our women and our children 
turned out to be real persons, anger 
surged up in us and we abused the ones 
we said we loved. 

Yet many were the moments, when 
feeling safe, we let our macho go and 
allowed our deepest and most tender 
feelings to escape, our tears to flow, 
allowed ourselves to be caressed, to be 
cared for. A questionnaire addressed 
to a broad cross-section of men and 
women inquired: "Which part of love- 
making means the most to you?" No 
wonder the overwhelming answer: "gen- 
tleness." Well, that's who we're sup- 
posed to be, isn't it — gentle-men? 

I give you a new commandment: 
love one another. As I have 
loved you, so you must love 
one another. 

What a lover Jesus was — and is! He 
saw beauty and loveliness in everyone ex- 
cept hypocrites! The woman by the well, 
the rich young ruler, Zacharias up in the 
tree, gentle Mary and contentious Martha, 
the Roman centurion, even Judas. He sees 
the beauty and loveliness in you and in 
me. Sometimes we forget what a lover 
Paul was (he seems so strict and busi- 
nesslike and theological). We begin to 
learn from them that men have a much 
greater vocation in life than to run 
with a football or go off to war. We 
are called to be lovers: lovers of 
mothers and fathers, lovers of wives 
and children, lovers of brothers and 
sisters, of neighbors and friends, of 
strangers and outcasts. 

To go forth from here to be a lover 
is no easy assignment — it does not fit, 
does not produce the kind of men who 
lose themselves in sports and specta- 
cles, in work and war. The powers and 
principalities of this world do not 
favor men as lovers. Jesus was a lover 
and they killed him. Paul was a lover 
and they killed him. Abraham Lincoln 
was a lover and they killed him. Martin 
Luther King was a lover and they killed 

No matter. What the world needs 
now ... is men who have the courage 
to love. 

Reverend Reed is with the Westmont 
United Methodist Church in Westmont, IL. 


by Walter S. Feldman 

It is now more than ten years since 
women's liberation exploded into news- 
paper headlines with a parade of thous- 
ands of women down 5th Avenue in New 
York City on August 26, 1970. Although 
this was hailed as an innovation, women 
have worked toward equality of opportu- 
nity for centuries. 

Women are now involved in many ac- 
tivities which were virtually outlawed 
in the past. They now sail on navy 
ships and have become ministers. Each 
accomplishment has been attained despite 
determined opposition. ERA is still an 
unrealized goal. In increasing numbers, 
women are found in the courtrooms, sur- 
gical suites, and in pulpits; but those 
who compose, conduct, or cook haute cui- 
sine are noted exceptions. The lists of 
outstanding female architects, engineers, 
and space travelers is remarkably short. 
Discrimination persists, but the ration- 
alization for it has changed to make it 
appear more logical than it really is. 
Physiological, biological, and tempera- 
mental differences are frequently cited. 
But today, women perform competently as 
firemen, paramedics, and police. Fewer 
than anticipated have achieved executive 
status. A supreme court justice, mayors 
of cities, senators are prominent exam- 
ples of success and are used to distract 
from covert as well as overt discrimina- 

The Liberation leaders point to 
many partial accomplishments. A higher 
percentage of women are now employed, 
but this may be the result, not of 
greater opportunities, but increasing 
economic pressures. Although sexual 
bias in hiring is on the decline, women 
generally still do not receive equal pay 
for the same work as men. A Supreme 
Court decision has liberalized rules on 
abortion giving women greater control 
over their own bodies, but this effort, 
too, seems to be frustrated by subse- 
quent legislation and verdicts. In 
fact, there have actually been recent 

cases where women have been forced to 
have Caesarean sections. 

The structure of the nuclear family 
is changing. It is estimated that as 
many as 83% of the families no longer 
have a traditional breadwinning father, 
a housewife mother, and two dependent 
children. The "right to choose" has 
created a difficult choice of career 
vs. family for many. 

In spite of extensive research, the 
so-called temperamental differences be- 
tween men and women and their causes are 
still to be determined. Women's libera- 
tion has indeed helped free women from 
prior stereotypes and has incidentally 
changed the traditional male role too. 
But technological society changes quick- 
ly and these role changes may be merely 
a reflection of social change rather 
than of feminist leadership. Today, 
many women who previously felt comfort- 
able and fulfilled as housewives and 
mothers now feel demeaned by the com- 
parison of these traditional roles 
with the emerging role model of the 
career woman. However, women who at- 
tempt to combine career and a family 
are often subject to the combined 
stresses of both. The escape from the 
stereotyped housewife role and mother 
image has not necessarily made life 
more fulfilling and less stressful for 
every woman although, for some, the op- 
posite may be true. The new options, 
however, are certain to produce some 
insecurity and confusion in many. And 
those women who choose newer options 
are often burdened with excessive expec- 
tations and responsibilities to succeed, 
not for themselves as individuals, but 
for womankind. Increasing psychothera- 
peutic attention will be needed for 
those men and women who straddle the 
traditional roles of both sexes. 

Some advocates of the women's lib- 
eration movement complain that many 
psychiatrists attempt to reduce women 
to traditional roles, aggravating the 
problems they already face. Some psy- 
chiatrists may indeed hold stereotypes 
of normal, healthy male and female 
roles and knowingly or unknowingly 


attempt to influence their patients to 
adjust to those stereotypes. Certainly, 
it is true that psychiatrists are human 
and a therapist's own moral and social 
values may intrude consciously or uncon- 
sciously into the treatment process. In 
such instances, the stereotype is not a 
hypothetical norm, but an individual se- 
lection reflecting the therapist's indi- 
vidual values, background, training, and 
experience. Some advocate that female 
patients consider a female therapist 
rather than a male therapist, but this 
may not necessarily be a valid solution. 
In the meantime, "stereotype" has become 
a dirty word, although it actually indi- 
cates need for awareness of bias and 

Psychiatrists are naturally influ- 
enced by dominant cultural and social 
values or prejudices — not limited to 
male and female issues. There are also 
sterotypes of success, attitude, reli- 
gion, and behavior. Each conscientious 
psychiatrist must make a concerted ef- 
fort to monitor those aspects of his or 
her own experience to prevent them from 
influencing therapy. Personality, in- 
security, self-worth, achievement, and 
aggression should be defined by the 
patient and not by the physician. 

Many religious groups have tradi- 
tionally relegated women to subservient 
roles , thus implying the superiority of 
men. God as a father figure influenced 
the preference of male ministers. Christ 
and his apostles were men, thus the tra- 
dition for passing the mantle of the 
ministry through men. There is little 
doubt that women are equally capable of 
assuming moral leadership interpreting 
the ethical, philosophical and mystical 
aspects of religion and meeting the so- 
cial service obligations of the minis- 
try. Therefore, the reason that their 
progress has been obstructed must lie 
in the perceived threat to the male ego. 
The entrance of women into the ministry 
still faces many difficulties, but in- 
dications are that this opposition is 

Mothers usually exert more influ- 
ence than fathers as moral leaders of 

the family and have been traditionally 
regarded as more effective in providing 
social services. The question is not 
one of capability, but of weakening rig- 
id traditions and seeking wider recogni- 
tion and acceptance of their effective- 
ness as moral and spiritual leaders. 

In the days before effective con- 
traception, married women spent most of 
their young adult years either pregnant 
or caring for children. This forced 
them into the mold of housekeeper and 
mother regardless of their capacities 
or interests and provided sharply drawn 
role models for the children to observe. 
Today among younger and often better 
educated couples, two careers are more 
common. Role models have become blurred 
as both husband and wife work, share 
household chores, and cooperatively make 
family decisions. Some feel that this 
constitutes an abdication by the mother, 
but it is also suggested that competent 
surrogates are equally capable of pro- 
viding warmth and attention. This is 
substantiated by studies done on the 
children brought up in the kibbutzim of 
Israel for the past twenty years. In 
many cases a surrogate is more benefi- 
cial than a full-time mother who is 
unhappy in her role. As has been fre- 
quently pointed out, it is the quality 
of the family life which is most impor- 
tant. If a home provides a secure and 
affectionate atmosphere, it is benefi- 
cial to all involved. 

Children need to learn caring , re- 
spect of self and others, cooperation, 
and reasonable expectations from the 
environment. Parents who care about 
and understand their children provide 
these regardless of their employment. 

One of the arguments against the 
feminist movement is that it tends to 
deprive men of their masculinity; that 
unless men find subservient women, con- 
fidence in their masculinity may suffer. 
The validity of this observation is 
easily demolished. Although the bio- 
logical differences between men and 
women cannot be ignored, their signi- 
ficance remains to be established. For 
both sexes the important factor is sa- 


tisfaction with oneself as an individual 
and the ability to relate to others as 
equals. The term "equality" in women's 
liberation has many meanings. It refers 
to opportunity, choice, and reward. 
There should be no need for a mature in- 
dividual to achieve a sense of superior- 
ity at the expense of someone else's 
self-esteem. The real danger ahead for 
men lies not in female liberation, but 
in their own feelings of inadequacy. 

Walter S. Feldman, M.D. , J.D. , is Medical 
Director of the Center for Psychiatric 
and Psychological Services, 628 West 14th 
Street, Chicago Heights, Illinois 60411. 

"The object of this Essay is to 
explain as clearly as 1 am able, the 
grounds of an opinion which I have held 
from the very earliest period when I had 
formed any opinions at all on social or 
political matters, and which, instead, 
of being weakened or modified, has been 
constantly growing stronger by the pro- 
gress of reflection and the experience 
of life: That the principle which regu- 
lates the existing social relations be- 
tween the two sexes — the legal subordi- 
nation of one sex to the other — is wrong 
in itself, and now one of the chief hin- 
drances to human improvement; and that 
it ought to be replaced by a principle 
of perfect equality, admitting no power 
or privilege on the one side, nor disa- 
bility on the other." 

"Thus when monogamous marriage 
first makes its appearance in history, 
it is not as the reconciliation of man 
and woman, still less as the highest 
form of such a reconciliation. Quite 
the contrary. Monogamous marriage comes 
on the scene as the subjugation of the 
one sex by the other; it announces a 
struggle between the sexes unknown 
throughout the whole previous pre- 
historic period." 

From Friedrich Engels, The Origin 
of the Family , Private Property , and the 
State, 1880. ~~ 

From John Stuart Mill 
tion of Women," 1869. 

"The Subjec- 



by Michael L. Dimitroff 

to the beginning of written knowledge. 
Contemporary interest in this topic has 
not waned. For example, a recent movie, 
Tootsie, examines in a sensitive, often 
humorous, manner our own sexual duality. 

Women and men have been together 
since the beginning and have been strug- 
gling to find their respective identi- 
ties ever since. We have also been 
working to understand each other psycho- 
sexually as well. Developing into a 
mature, well-integrated adult is often 
a long and sometimes tortuous task. 
Scientists have been studying human 
development and sexuality for years and 
still continue to find new and exciting 
facts about our genders. These discov- 
eries have been most exciting in the 
fields of biology and psychology. We 
know differences and similarities exist 
in genetic makeup (chromosomes), hor- 
mones, and even brain structure and phy- 
siology between men and women. 

Sexuality has always fascinated us. 
The concept of the male-female dicho- 
tomy/unity is nothing new and dates back 

Carl G. Jung, the Swiss psychia- 
trist, was also fascinated by this 
duality as well as others: good/evil, 
heaven/earth, etc. He was also aware 
of the presence of male-female hormones 
in all of us although we do phenotypi- 
cally exhibit either a masculine or 
feminine physical form. This kind of 
thinking led him to make one of his most 
important discoveries, that of the col- 
lective unconscious. This collective 
unconscious is an inherited reservior of 
all the images and experiences of human- 
kind. All of us have this identical 
substructural "tank" that holds memory 
traces, symbols, experiences, and stereo- 
types from the beginning of human exis- 
tence. Jung called the images "arche- 
types." A better synonym might be "pro- 
totype" because archetypes are really an 
original model after which similar indi- 
viduals, characters, situations, or 


conditions are patterned. 

Jung discovered many archetypes 
within the collective unconscious: God , 
the hero , birth , death , rebirth , the 
devil , the wise old man , the fool , the 
trickster , earth mother , and many natur- 
al objects such as the sun, moon , trees , 
rivers , fires , and animals as well as 
mythical combinations such as the cen- 
taur and griffin . Man-made objects such 
as swords, keys, rings, and chalices 
were noted as existing there. Given 
these archetypical contents, you can 
quickly conjure up all sorts of stories, 
plays, myths, from the ancient writings 
of Rome, Greece, China, Judea, Carthage, 
etc. Wagnerian opera themes abound with 
these archetypes. Many recent success- 
ful films such as Star Wars , Gandhi , 
E.T. and, of course, Tootsie deal with 
archetypical material. All have strong 
roots within the collective unconscious 
and are popular because of the univer- 
sality of their collective unconscious- 

Some archetypes, such as the per- 
sona, the shadow , the self , the animus 
and the anima, are very important. The 
outward face which we expose to the 
world is our persona , the person we hope 
people will think we are. However, Jung 
noted that we also have an inward face 
which he called the "animus" in women 
and "anima" in men. Other archetypes 
such as the shadow also have meanings 
for our sexual selves and our relations 
with members of our own sex. But rela- 
tionships with the opposite sex have 
more to do with anima and animus . All 
do relate to our complete sexual self, 
but we know that we all have qualities 
in us of the opposite sex. So in addi- 
tion to chromosomal and hormonal dual- 
ity, we also experience feelings and 
attitudes which can be characterized as 
masculine or feminine. 

Men have developed their anima 
through life experience with women. In 
a like fashion women have developed 
their animus. From the beginning our 
images and experiences with and of one 
another have contributed greatly to the 
acquisition of traits from each of the 

sexes. These collective experiences and 
interactions have survival value because 
we need to understand, love, and inter- 
act with one another in a positive fash- 
ion to assure the existence of mentally 
healthy, caring future generations. 

To be well-integrated we must be i.i 
touch with our representative anima or 
animus (as well as other archetypes), 
lest we easily fall prey to their power 
and needs of primitive expression. Such 
expression could range from mild person- 
ality disturbance to a psychosis. What- 
ever is within the unconscious must and 
will have its say. If we neglect it, 
do not recognize its force, or avoid 
it, we could make much unhappiness for 
ourselves as well as others. 

For instance, a woman who is ex- 
tremely feminine, submissive, and only 
interested in attitudes associated with 
her sex could well have problems with 
her aggressiveness and stubbornness 
associated with the male personality. 
Likewise, men who are extremely virile, 
aggressive, or "macho" can have a defec- 
tive anima and be extremely weak and 
submissive inside. If either the animus 
or anima is deflated or weak in expres- 
sion, the persona takes over and stifles 
the masculine-feminine development. In 
Western cultures there are sharp con- 
trasts between male and female roles; 
"tomboys" and "sissies" are ridiculed 
early which can later have serious con- 
sequences to a well-balanced personality 
development. Kids can develop hangups 
very early about expressing their mascu- 
linity or femininity. If the imbalance 
is too harsh, an individual can overre- 
act, i.e., a young woman can identify so 
strongly with her animus that her femi- 
nine features change to look more mascu- 
line or a young man may accentuate the 
anima to such an extent that he becomes 
more feminine than masculine. If ex- 
treme enough, the subject may opt for 
hormonal treatment and genital surgery 
to make a complete transformation. Some 
homosexuals may also have some unre- 
solved issues with a rebellious anima or 
animus . 

Our unconscious image of the oppo- 


site sex also resides within these arche- 
types. The choice of a marriage partner 
or lover is quite often predicated on 
this primordial image. Our aversion for 
certain members of the opposite sex can 
also have roots within the collective 
unconscious. Apparently, the first pro- 
jection of the anima is upon the mother, 
the animus upon the father. A defective 
image could result later in an unhappy 
marriage. We are all familiar with the 
intelligent, beautiful, young woman with 
a seemingly balanced personality who 
chooses a hostile, destructive marriage 
partner. A defective animus could dwell 
within her. Men too exhibit this beha- 
vior: the story "Blue Angel" illustrates 
this well. 


Jung, C. G. Memories, Dreams, Reflec- 
tions , New York Vintage Books, 1961. 

Jung, C. G. Man and His Symbols , Garden 
City, New York, Doubleday, 1964. 

Dr. Dimitroff is University Professor 
of Psychology at Governors State 

But the anima or animus may not nec- 
essarily be as destructive in the sense 
that a naive person is attracted to a 
"femme fatale" or "Bluebeard." An indi- 
vidual may also attempt a deep relation- 
ship that runs contrary to one's animus 
or anima . For instance the animus ap- 
parently can have a preconceived liking 
for men who are heroic, intellectual, 
artistic or athletic celebrities. The 
anima can have a preconceived liking 
for everything that is vain, helpless, 
uncertain, and unintentional. It ap- 
pears that the animus produces opinions 
in females and the anima moods in men. 
Thus, at extremes an individual can be 
neurotically attracted to an "image" 
and not be aware of the destructive 
possibilities. Women can idolize men 
with these extreme qualities and men 
can idolize the Scarlet O'Hara types. 
However, healthier idealizations would 
be a "Mother Theresa" or an "Albert 
Schweitzer." Still, the animus seems to 
be identified with thinking whereas the 
anima is associated with intuition. 

Naturally, Jung's ideas have gener- 
ated controversy, but have also stimu- 
lated continued growth and recognition 
of individual sexual duality. Familiar- 
ity with both our feminine and masculine 
sides can contribute greatly to under- 
standing ourselves, improving relation- 
ships with members of the opposite sex, 
and allowing us to be more anxiety-free. 

This woodcut of the hermaphrodite illuf 
trates early human endeavor to under- 
stand our sometimes dual feelings and 
composition as complete humans. 

From Man and His Symbols by C. G. Jung. 



David and Eric Matteson 

Eric is a movie buff. My wife and 
I had already seen Tootsie , but I was 
considering seeing it again in order to 
write this review. "I'll help you write 
it if you'll take me to see it," Eric 

Since this would afford us an op- 
portunity to discuss some issues I con- 
sider important, I agreed, and we took 
off for the movie together. His first 
review went as follows: 

All in all Tootsie was a really 
good movie. The characters 
played their roles well, and 
you really got to like them. 

Unlike Siskel, Ebert, and Eric, I am 
more interested in the content of the 
movie than the cinematography. So I 
reminded Eric of scenes in the movie in 
which women felt exploited or powerless, 
and asked if he thought things were this 
way in real life. A number of questions 

received noncommital answers, leading rae 
to the recognition that my twelve year 
old has not had enough exposure to un- 
derstand the power differential between 
men and women. 

I changed my line of questioning. 
Eric had obviously enjoyed much of the 
movie's humor; he clearly knew what was 
considered gender inappropriate. I 
asked if he thought that Dustin Hoffman 
had had fun dressing up like a woman and 
playing that role. Eric gave an empha- 
tic "No!" and stated that he would not 
want to dress up like that. His inter- 
est in this question allowed me to lead 
into still another area. I was particu- 
larly curious about Eric's view of the 
relationship between gender and tender- 
ness. I reminded him of the scene at 
Julie's father's farm. The arrange- 
ments require the two "women" to sleep 
in the same bed. Julie reminisces about 
her deceased mother and recalls a child- 
hood incident, picking out wallpaper for 


little Julie's bedroom. In his role as 
a woman, Hoffman listens sensitively, 
then reaches out in a motherly way, 
soothingly fondling Julie's hair. 

"If that were a man in bed with 
Julie, could he have been as sensitive 
as Dorothy was?" 1 asked Eric. He hesi- 
tated, and then stated, "He could be." 
Then he went on to declare that "It is 
easier for a woman than for a man to be 
sensitive and gentle." 

This, it seems to me, is the heart 
of the movie's message: a man must get 
in touch with the feminine in himself in 
order to be sensitive with others. In 
the last scene, Hoffman (in his role as 
Michael) waits outside the TV studio, 
and follows Julie when she emerges. In 
the ensuing conversation, Julie eventu- 
ally confesses that she misses Dorothy. 
Michael responds, "I was better at being 
a man to you when I was a woman . . . ! " 
As Eric recognizes, it is hard to be a 
man and be sensitive at the same time. 

In an earlier film, Midnight Cow- 
boy , Dustin Hoffman co-starred in a rare 
portrayal of a deep caring relationship 

between two men. Tootsie is also a 
rare portrayal, not only because of the 
challenge to the actor, but because it 
is a film with a feminist message star- 
ring a man. I wonder, as a pro-feminist 
man, can this movie succeed in reaching 
men where other feminist communications 
have failed? I think, it has a chance, 
for a number of important reasons: 

First, it is a comedy, rather than 
a morality play. Instead of trying to 
make men feel guilty — which has all too 
often been the feminist tack — this film 
makes us (as men) laugh at ourselves, 
and sense what we are missing inside 
ourselves as we wall off our own sensi- 
tivity because it isn't "masculine." 

Secondly, this film affirms the 
advantages of gender-role liberation 
for both sexes. Knowing Dorothy helps 
the women characters in the soap "Gen- 
eral Hospital" feel more in control, 
more autonomous. But knowing Dorothy 
also helps Michael, who struggles to 
explain to his roommate, and to his 
agent, how much he has gained from the 
exploration of his femininity. 


When the producer of the TV soap 
tells Dorothy that she has been a boon 
to the show's popularity and success, 
that the company is picking up its op- 
tion to contract Dorothy for another 
year, the woman producer goes on to pay 
Dorothy a more personal compliment. 
"You have portrayed a woman who can 
affirm herself without putting others 
down," a new breed of woman for the 

And I would pay the same compliment 
to the movie Tootsie . This is a movie 
which affirms womanhood, without deni- 
grating manhood. Thus it is a movie 
which might have some success in affect- 
ing men. Perhaps someday the Erics of 
the world will no longer feel that it's 
a conflict to be a man and to be sensi- 
tive. I hope so. 

David Matteson is a Professor of Psy- 
chology at Governors State University 



by Donald H. Wheat 

About ten years ago, while minister 
of Third Unitarian Church in Chicago, I 
wrote a sermon on human liberation in 
which I quoted Jane Fonda: 

"Women do the same thing over and over 
again — they keep the fireside burning 
while the men have all the exciting, 
meaningful experiences." 

I saw the film Tootsie recently and 
enjoyed every morsel of it. I envision 
a new film, however, entitled Bootsie , 
starring Jane Fonda, who in the same 
serious way as Dustin Hoffman will 
experience what it means to be a man in 
today's society. Dressing as a man to 
gain an executive level job, Bootsie 
will discover whether in blue collar or 
white, how many men have jobs that are 
free of repetition and boredom and how 
many of them are really having exciting, 
meaningful experiences at their work. 

Bootsie (Jane Fonda) might hear her 
parents say in a childhood flashback 
that it is important that her sister's 
teeth be straightened, but what differ- 
ence does it make for a boy! 

In an afternoon off to visit the 
Art Institute, the Chicago Public Libra- 
ry or Orchestra Hall Bootsie may wonder 
why "she" is one of the few "men" there. 

Bootsie may have a close male 
friend who, after his divorce, must pay 
alimony to an ex-wife who could work but 
chooses not to. 

She may discover how some men feel 
about wives who take their identity from 
their husband's work (i.e., a doctor's 
wife) and who accept a life of leisure 
as a symbol of their husband's success. 

She may hear older women talking 
about retired husbands who are "in the 
way around the house" and realize that 
the home has been primarily a place to 

be economically supported by men. 
dominated by women. 


Bootsie may gulp in amazement as 
"he" hears "his" own women friends say 
they are opposed to ERA for fear their 
daughters might be drafted. (Sons do 
not matter!) 

Bootsie may choose to wear a "Ten 
Years" button on "his" lapel to call 
attention to the shortened life span of 
men as compared to women's life expec- 
tancy. (And when "he" retires to a 
home, "he" may wonder why "he" is sur- 
rounded by women and ask, "Where have 
all the old men gone?") 

I'm not sure we are ready for 
Bootsie but I hope that when it hits the 
screen this film will do as much to open 
the eyes of women as Tootsie has done to 
open the eyes of men. 

I believe that when men and women 
each hold up their half of the sky and 
when husbands and wives are truly two on 
a see-saw — when no one marries to be 
supported or to dominate another — when 
both fathers and mothers work out a way 
to balance careers with child-rearing — 
when both have responsibilities for earn- 
ing power and equal time for gardening, 
friendship, entertaining, volunteering, 
growth and self-enrichment and leisure — 
then I think another star will rise. I 
am interested in human liberation which 
will free the oppressor as well as the 
oppressed. MOVE OVER TOOTSIE! 


by Ed Bailey-Mershon 

"Ed I'llSpellltForYou" perhaps 
should be the name I will take before a 
judge when I finally do legally change 
my name. Since my marriage, my wife and 
I have been going by the combination of 
her maiden name followed by my last 
name. (Was I too once a maiden?) 

Since 1 did have some professional 
following under ray inherited name, the 
decision to change was challenging. As 
with other decisions in our lives to- 
gether, combining names was long dis- 
cussed and very well thought out. I 
never considered my wife-to-be as the 
"Mrs. -to-be. " I did not want a Mrs. nor 
do I like being called Mr. I felt very 
uncomfortable asking someone I consid- 
ered my equal to change her name to 
mine. So they became one. 

The resistance was bewildering. 
The Bank of Park Forest will not per- 
mit a name change on my accounts until 
I get a drivers license with a new 
name. I cannot obtain a new license 
until 1 have my name changed in court 
by petition according to the DL bureau. 
Let's keep the lawyers employed. 

My real job, which provides money 
for me to paint, have children and other 
necessities of life, is in the steel in- 
dustry repairing machines. Prepared for 
battle after a nasty exchange of letters 
with the president of the Bank of Park 
Forest, I walked into the Personnel Of- 
fice at U.S. Steel Supply. Juanita, the 
secretary, was always friendly but sub- 
ject to the policy of her superiors. 
Girded for battle I stated my business. 
Juanita reached out and patted me on the 
arm saying "That's nice." My paychecks, 
credit union account, time card, insur- 
ance forms, and company I.D. now show 
our combined name. The Bank of Park 
Forest has cashed every paycheck. 

old son and twelve-year-old stepson in 
tow. We managed to get all of our ac- 
counts and identities straightened out, 
social security numbers for tax shelter 
accounts for the two boys, plus a hy- 
phenated name for the younger and the 
parents. A crusty older lady directed 
our group, but despite this humanistic 
bureaucrat, my card and ray son's do not 
quite read the way we wished. There is 
no hyphen in mine, and my son's has a 
bunch of initials before my inherited 

How do friends and neighbors and 
co-workers react? Our parents said 
"that's unusual" and dropped it. (They 
did not approve.) Female friends 
thought it was great. Some people were 
jealous. Male friends and co-workers 
are silently contemptuous of the change: 
just something else that a bearded 
hippie, commie, college-educated, artist 
would do. Few at work call me by my 
real name. I answer to a nickname that 
robs me of my identity and when 1 ran 
for union office, I lost because no one 
knew me by my real names. Some refuse 
to acknowledge the change and still bait 
me with occasional use of just my old 

It is not amazing that the state 
legislature that refused to pass the 
ERA would not extend the same right to 
a male to change names that they ex- 
tended to a female. My son may have a 
mouthful and a problem when he marries 
but it's his name and his life, and he 
knows who his parents are. Perhaps if 
I keep whittling away at the system 1 
can get all my documents changed after 
enough transactions. 

After the birth of our son, my wife 
and I made a pilgrimage to Markham's So- 
cial Security office with our six-month- 


m Book f| 
pi Review fffif 

Review by James D. Saul 

Herb Goldberg chose as his theme 
the impossible roles society imposes on 
both men and women, and what it does to 
their relationships. 

The book is not a large work. 
After all the aknowledgement/contents/ 
introduction foreplay is past, there's 
only 240 pages of text. A glance at 
the notes shows the author is still 
taking a middle course, drawing from 
both popular and academic sources. A 
reference from Psychotherapy : Theory , 
Research and Practice is followed by a 
footnote from People and then one from 
Rolling Stone . The formula works, 
though; I won't knock it. 

In two earlier books on this sub- 
ject, The Hazards of Being Male and The 
New Male , the author explored the trap 
men were in because of expectations they 
couldn't fulfill. It seems he should 
have written a book on the subject of 
the new female before the present one, 
but he surely has his reasons for this 

Goldberg sees myth where others see 
revealed wisdom. He told us several 
years ago, for instance, that it was a 
fantasy that men will be freed as a by- 
product of female liberation. He's 
right — it's not as simple as that, and 
the present book shows how complex it 
really is. 

The author reminds us of tradi- 
tional sex roles: man as machine and 
woman as a child; then describes how we 
can achieve the authentic growth neces- 
sary to make the transition to a more 
natural relationship. Of the transition, 
Goldberg says, "Sexism will wither and 
die as the difficult process of becoming 
whole and balanced progresses." Finally, 
he looks to the day when we've thrown 
off the defensive behavior we thought 
was our proper role — behavior that de- 
stroys relationships, families, and 
lives. In the new way of relating, 
"men and women will choose each other 
because they want each other, not be- 
cause they need each other . . . the man 
will be free of the masculine filters 
that have in the past put him in con- 
stant combat with self-created pressures, 
creating in him a compulsion to triumph 
and gain power in order to be 'loved' 
. . . likewise, the woman will no longer 
view the world distorted by her feminine 
defenses, which have caused her to seek 
shelter and identity through the man's 
warrior posture." 


Herb Goldberg 

Morrow, 1983 $13.95 

Review by Elizabeth Ohm 

"Why do they call it 'women's lib- 
eration'? It's 'human liberation' we 
are talking about ! " 

The remark came from a perceptive 
male participant; the discussion was 
between audience and cast in a Greenwich 
Village theatre after an early perfor- 
mance of "I'm Getting My Act Together 
and Taking It on the Road." My own re- 
action was that my personal convictions, 
held in fact since adolescence, were 
finally being recognized, discussed, and 
even accepted in some quarters. 

That is pretty much my reaction to 
Herb Goldberg's new book. The New Male 
Female Relationship is basically a pitch 
for recognizing men and women as people 


first — individuals with both "male" and 
"female" traits — and then using this rec- 
ognition to develop relationships that 
allow for personal growth and for inter- 
actions that enrich each partner's life 
without imposing limitations, or, as 
Goldberg often terms them, "suffocations. 

The first third of the book is 
devoted (at unnecessary length, it would 
seem) to a description of the gender 
conditioning by our society that results 
in polarization of the roles of men and 
women. In brief, men are expected to be 
macho and women must assume the earth 
mother role. Men are attracted to women 
who appear to be clinging and dependent 
but soon rebel against the demands made 
upon them. Women are attracted to men 
who are dominant and aggressive, but 
grow to resent the inevitable stunting 
of their growth resulting from subjec- 
tion. This is of course, an oversimpli- 
cation. But then, in my view so is 
Goldberg's thesis. To be fair, 1 sus- 
pect he deliberately did it to make his 
point, and he does emphasize that to the 
degree that the man and woman succeed in 
overcoming this conditioning, they will 
succeed in establishing a truly reward- 
ing and liberated relationship. 

The middle portion of the book is 
given over to a description of male and 
female in the transitional situation, 
working toward overcoming societal 
conditioning. Included are a series of 
observations and suggestions which will 
probably be considerably more useful 
than the dogmatic and reiterated pro- 
nouncements of the first section. The 
theme, in several variations: "The more 
polarized the couple, the less real as 
people they can be with each other. Her 
feminine defenses are threatened by any- 
thing unmasculine in him . . . and his 
masculine defenses cause him to see her 
as 'not herself when she violates her 
expected feminine character. . . . Two 
people who cannot be real with each 
other . . . must come to feel rejected 
by and resentful of each other. ..." 

Finally, Goldberg describes the 
ideal male-female relationship, one in 
which each partner considers the other 

solely as a person , never as a part of 
a generality. He rejects "we-think" re- 
lationships that shut out individuality; 
he rejects goal-oriented thinking in 
favor of the "process" of doing; he 
stresses "playfulness" as opposed to 
seriousness or rigidity. Parenting, in 
the new society, will be postponed until 
the prospective parents are themselves 
whole people, "beyond concern over 
whether any form of human expression is 
appropriate to one particular sex." 
Problems will be handled by honest con- 
frontation, physical health will improve 
with the absence of repression, sexual- 
ity will be unencumbered by performance 
expectations and, in time, "antagonism 
between the sexes will be remembered as 
a fossil from a primitive state. ..." 

The best of all possible worlds. 
Dream on, Herb. I'm with you. 

Herb Goldberg received his Ph.D. in 
clinical psychology from Adelphi I Di- 
versity. He has been on the facult) of 
California State Universit) since l 6.">. 
where he is present l\ Professor of Psy- 





"I am working hard to grow into a 
more sensitive son, husband, father 
and grandfather." 

- from Autobiography 

- William H. Dodd 


by Edwin Bruell 

We all know the script for a wed- 
ding. We've been through it many times 
with friends, and with relatives too. 

But this one is somehow so very 
different. It's your own little daugh- 
ter, grown up and a woman now. And you 
sing an epiphany this time to keep the 
outward demeanor , the image and face you 
have to put on before the other men. 

"They are not long, the days of 
wine and roses. They are not long, the 
weeping and the laughter." 

Where did it go, our days together 
as father and daughter? 

You remember when your wife, whom 
you loved so intensely and liked all the 
more, first trusted this girl to walk 
alone through traffic to kindergarten. 
It was you who had the trepidations. 
Your helpmate was rock firm and psy- 
chologically strong, and she'd taught 
the pitfalls to your daughter, and so 
the sprite was safe. But you were the 
mixed-up, super-emotional, sudsy case, 
you did the worrying. And it was always 
thus till you wife passed away a few 
years ago, too long ago, leaving for 
your daughter a heritage of strength 
and all the plans you two had built and 
dreamed before the wedding day. 

"Turn around, little girl." Were 
there better days before the live-ins, 
before the brutal assaults on marriage 
nowadays? When marriage was the end-all 
of any girl's life, I discerned its in- 
herent weakness — the de-glamour ization 
that comes from boarding and bedding to- 
gether every day. And now, thanks to 
some righteous sisters , if marriage is 
a less than euphoric attempt to find a 
meaning for two in a chaotic cosmos, 
then I can only say that love is the 
only answer, love that begins with two, 
love that embraces the world. 


You, ray daughter now, stood on dais 
in a flowing, beautiful gown I cannot 
describe. There was nothing for you to 
do but grin, nothing for me to do but 
grin straight back. The dressmaker, 
straight from the secret places of Buda- 
pest, looked at the grins and broke into 
one wide grin herself. It was a pre- 
nuptial prelude to the little raaskface 
mummery acts we put on to choke out sur- 
facing emotions. 

oh, the terrible closure that our soci- 
ety places on open expression of honest 

You rush into fast and frenzied 
numbers holding the ladies tight when 
appropriate, they bridging the gap of 
lonliness and alienation, taking the 
existential leap. 

All of a sudden it's time. 

Later, there is drinking and cama- 
raderie at the wedding rehearsal din- 
ner — the drinking meant to subdue the 
inhibitions — the men now permitted to 
kiss the ladies, men now permitted to 
hug men. 

And the walk down the aisle (the 
military march is now passe). You, 
father, feeling a part of an unreal 
dream once rehearsed. Would you for- 
get your lines? 

Your cue. Your big bit part 
answer. You remember the show business 
adage — there are no unimportant parts. 
Remembering to accent the first word of 
two, you answer "J_ do." 

That over, you take a seat in the 
apron of the proscenium, remembering not 
to cry. Wrong emotion indeed. 

"But what time _is_ it?" (Your watch 
wouldn't fit down under the tight French 

It was sunny when you entered the 
club. Now the skies are overcast, and 
rain falls as you walk your stiff- 
starched tuxedo out to the lot, retrieve 
your checkbook, and go inside to pay. 
Return to the light and the air-condi- 

There is your daughter preparing to 
go away. And she is crying now— great, 
voluminous tears. What to do? To look 
away? No. 

You go to her and try to comfort 
her and try to comfort yourself; the 
best man does the same in his way, and 
the bridegroom in his beautiful, vigor- 
ous way. 

And then the golden, glorious re- 
ception afterwards. 

You hear the old cliches: " You're 
gaining a son ." Of course. "Didn't 
your daughter pick him? Besides, he's 
really a nice guy. 

You whirl 
all the ladies 
ones, most of 
care to kiss t 
a day when Lov 
for apathy or 
of course you 
one, the bride 
"Daddy's Littl 
bandsmen to pi 
You work very 
tion you hold 

and dance with virtually 
— well, all the youngish 
the others — and take good 
hem every one, for this is 
e is queen — no time today 
animosity or hate. And 
dance with your cherished 

There's that teary 
e Girl" you asked the 
ay — and "Oh My Papa." 
hard to try to appear 

With fatherly affec- 
your daughter close — but, 

Then they are gone. 

Ah, my dear, I confess it. 1 love 
you. I never taught you the art of 
baiting a hook or striding a horse, but 
I hope your mother and I taught you how 
to love — not in the way of the mod-mad 
novella — but how to love deeply and 
truly and caringly, everyone on the face 
of this earth. 

And by God, I think we succeeded. 


by Joe Agne 

I write this article on the day my 
family left the graveyard at Jackson- 
ville, Florida, having said goodbye to 
my mother. She lived 7 4 years, had 
seven brothers and sisters, graduated in 
1930 from Middlebury College with a B.A. 
in math, had a short career at the head- 
quarters of Sears, Roebuck. & Company, 
had three children, nine grandchildren, 
and four great grandchildren. 

This article is meant to communi- 
cate how the feminist movement has 
helped me to understand my mother and 
to change my attitudes about who the 
nurturers and nurturees are in a family. 

There are some events from my moth- 
er's life significant for me: she once 
gave me nine hours of tapes of songs and 
poetry she had memorized, and they are 
categorized according to the periods in 
her life when she learned them: "before 
age five," "World War I songs," "Dart- 
mouth songs," "Middlebury songs," "De- 
pression songs," World War II songs," 
etc. We got a TV in the early 1950s so 
she and her eight-year-old son could 
watch congressional hearings and polit- 
ical conventions; cooking and dishwash- 
ing were often interrupted to do a Cos- 
sack dance on the kitchen floor or to 
go to the dining room to play the piano; 
she taught all of her children and grand- 
children arithmetic by playing Canasta 
with them and letting them keep score 
but never "letting" them win. As a 
child she used to go up to the attic of 
her grandfather's house and pretend an 
old spinning wheel was the helm of a 
ship that she would captain to Java, 
Sumatra, and all the other places of the 
world she would imagine from her reading 
or from stories of her sea captain grand- 
father; she was the only one of the 
children of her family to graduate from 
college and to move away from Connecti- 
cut. And whenever she would start to 
earn more money than my father she ei- 
ther refused a promotion or quit work. 

As I think of my mother's life I 
think of so many things that would have 
made her happier, more fulfilled. 

She would have been happier if her 
own family had understood that all fam- 
ily members have a responsibility and op- 
portunity to be nurturers. We depended 
on her for all of our nurture. Some she 
could give us. Some she could not. We 
affirmed the nurture that was present 
but for that which we missed we held her 
responsible. We never understood that 
nurture could come from other persons in 
the family system. It never dawned on 
us that she might need nurture or that 
there might be any joy for us in offer- 
ing such. 

My mother became employed outside 
our home full-time when I was in fourth 
grade. She was the only mother of our 
class so employed except for a few who 
"had to" because they were single heads 
of households. Teachers made many nega- 
tive comments to her, and to me, as did 
other mothers. I suspect many fathers 
felt the same way but let women carry 
the message directly. She would have 
been happier if she had friends with 
careers or at least someone with whom 
she could share common experiences. 

Her career, either because of some 
agreement with my father or some self- 
imposed restriction, was always limited 
by my father's career. She could not be 
more "successful" than he. As a result 
her employer was denied full use of her 
skills and gifts and she must have felt 
continually underutilized. 

Her career was also limited because 
she was so late entering the job market. 
She would be assistant to the comptrol- 
ler, who was less skilled but had his 
position because he had entered the sys- 
tem earlier. All the people she "assist- 
ed" seemed very talented in making use 
of her skills but keeping her an assis- 
tant. She was never paid for the comp- 
troller's work even though she did so 
much of it. 

My mother was fantastic in the nur- 
ture of a child's mind and became par- 


ticularly int 
five years of 
them in card 
expanded a pe 
I can remembe 
became really 
the same patt 
children. Bu 
if she could 
ests and gift 
one that expe 
come from one 

erested in children around 
age when she could engage 
games and mind games that 
rson's ability to think, 
r, I think, when my mother 

interested in me. I saw 
ern as she related to grand- 
t she'd have been happier 
have accepted her own inter- 
s and if her family was not 
cted all the nurturing to 

missed and that their parents missed. I 
most want their reflections to include 
an affirmation that all five of us 
learned how to give and receive nurture. 
This possibility for a family was not 
even in my consciousness in 1966. 

(Rev. Agne is the pastor of First United 
Methodist Church of Harvey, Illinois.) 

My reflection on my mother has 
taught me a great deal about myself. I 
married in 1966 with many of the same at- 
titudes that restricted my mother. But 
it becomes more and more evident each 
year that to hold on to these attitudes 
is unfair to my wife, my daughter, my 
sons, and me. So our family is con- 
stantly in the process of reshaping 
ourselves as we learn what it is that 
each of us does well and wants to do. I 
value being with my children every morn- 
ing as they prepare for school; I like 
communicating with their teachers, doing 
the wash and grocery shopping, and not 
caring for the business of the family. 
Every person in our family has a night 
to cook. Our family is structured so 
that my wife has time for work prepara- 
tion and for a strong friendship with a 
woman outside of our family. Every fam- 
ily member has specific household tasks 
that we assume through negotiation with 
each other. We seek to support each 
other in whatever we are doing when we 
are apart. We love to celebrate each of 
our successes. 

To be sure, my rhetoric and intel- 
lectual commitment are more advanced 
than my actual living. But I am commit- 
ted to all five members of our family 
being free to be who they want to be and 
not to be restricted by outside role 
expectations. We work at it and enjoy 
doing so. 

My mother lived a full life, but 
there was a great deal of pain in her 
life. She might have been much happier 
if she'd been born 30 years later. In 
time my own children will reflect on 
their family origin and see things they 


by Lynn Thomas Strauss 

The impact of the current women's 
movement is far reaching yet difficult 
to access. A variety of women's groups 
have sustained many during this transi- 
tional time in our culture. There have 
been cousciousness raising groups, rap 
groups, assertiveness training groups 
and support groups. At the same time, 
more quietly, there have also been some 
men's groups. Many men's groups were 
short-lived; some retreated into beer 
drinking, bowling or discussions of 
sports, but a small number have lasted 
and provided a new level of male friend- 
ship and support for their members. 

This article will attempt to share 
a little about one such group. After 
declining an invitation to write about 
themselves, this group of five men who 
have been meeting regularly for eight 
years responded on tape to questions 
posed by this author. 

These men came together in 1975 
knowing one another through shared 
community work or membership in the same 
social network. The original members 
decided to form a group so they could 
develop meaningful male friendships. As 
one member put it: 

"1 never felt [before] that I'd 
developed close friendships with men. 
My male relationships revolved around 
competitive activities like work and 

Another motivation was jealousy 
some members experienced toward their 
wives and girl friends who were together 
in a women's group at that time. The 
men felt left out and wanted a similar 

"We wanted to find a place where we 
could talk about ourselves and the women 
in our lives without being afraid that 
we were going to be judged as sexist." 

"We felt the personal need to be- 
come better friends and we weren't 
afraid to do that in a committed way. 
Other men do that on the side— bowling 
together or riding to work together 
every day — they become friends on the 
side. We're guys who said 'this is 
worth working at and we're going to get 
together and work at it because we need 
it, it's good for us.'" 

"The group was a way of becoming 
better friends in a world that almost 
seemed to prevent that among men because 
of competition — maybe he's going to get 
my job or my lover." 

"We didn't start off saying we were 


going to read books, or bowl or go on 
trips; we were going to get together 
every two weeks with no agenda." 

"We've gone through a lot of effort 
to try to be open with one another and 
try to get down to the 'nitty-gritty.'" 

"Confidentiality was real important 
from the beginning. Our only rule was 
confidentiality and that has never been 
breached in over eight years." 

There was a deliberate attempt to 
address women's issues and explore 
feelings and understandings of sexism: 

"We touched on attitudes, role 
models, what we like or don't like or 
what we have to wrestle with in our 
relationships with our female partners — 
but it's on an individual basis, not 
causes or party lines." 

"At times we have read books or 
discussed topics, but we deal with the 
problems we're exploring as we exper- 
ience them in our everyday lives." 

The thoughtful, intentional dimen- 
sion of this group has been expressed 
periodically throughout its long history. 

"In an attempt to reach out to 
other human liberations groups, we met 
once with a fairly radical women's rap 
group. They would have liked to develop 
a shared reading list, but we weren't 
ready for that structure." 

The group has also reached out to 
the men's liberation network by initiat- 
ing contact with Chicago Men's Gathering. 

"Eight years ago we were more 
conscious of politics, although that was 
never the reason we kept coming together. 
In fact, politics got in the way; formal 
connections (to gay men's groups) were 
not comfortable. All of us being 
straight, we never had to deal much with 
gay issues. We felt we should and we 
did make contact with Men's Gathering, 
but we didn't need involvement with 
another movement." 

"In terms of homosexuality, I don't 
think we dealt with it as a movement, 
but as individual experiences and feel- 
ings and we try to look at those." 

"We've all come to an acceptance of 
ourselves as heterosexuals, but I don't 
think that excludes us from dealing with 
homosexual feelings or experiences." 

"Given the overall orientation of 
this group to deal with personal exper- 
iences, we wouldn't have talked about 
homosexuality as a men's group at all 
except as a political issue. I felt 
uncomfortable because I felt afflicted 
with "homophobia" because of limited ex- 
perience with gay men. For me, the gay 
movement has influenced me a lot, in a 
positive direction." 

"For me, the gay liberation move- 
ment is at least as much an influence 
as the women's movement. I think its 
because the gay movement helped me to 
see how human relationships are bigger 
and more complicated than the simple 
sexual drive and the simple definitions 
and rules that we grow up believing — 
i.e., boy meets girl, they get married 
and live happily ever after." 

"One of the things of value about 
the men's group is being close to men. 
Growing up I didn't have that, I wasn't 
that close with my peers in grade school. 
Being comfortable and close friends with 
men is important to me . . . and that's 
homo sexual- -the connection with people 
of the same sex. (It's not genital, but 
it's homosexual.) To learn to be com- 
fortable with other men has been impor- 
tant to me. Being connected with other 
men has been important." 

Although the group has dealt with 
serious issues and has had deep meaning 
for its members, the group also has fun 
being together. Beer and popcorn are 
served at each meeting and dinner out- 
ings, bowling nights and campouts have 
been shared experiences. A typical even- 
ing has a scheduled start of 7:30 with 
the first hour or so devoted to gossip. 
Generally by 9:00 everyone has arrived 


from late work schedules and the group 
gets down to serious business until 
about 1 1 :00 p.m. 

"It's been an excellent place to 
play out my problems, fantasies and 
feelings. " 

The group acknowledges that early 
in their experiences and even in their 
current meetings — "it is hard to get 
down to the level of sharing that we all 
really come here for. We spend a lot of 
time talking about our day, and those 
things are worthy of mention and help 
us get to know each other better. But 
really we are being shy about getting 
down to sharing what's really on our 
minds. Probably one meeting out of 
every three, we get around to real 
sharing. " 

One topic that has taken a lot of 
this group's attention is divorce. 
Several members have been supported 
through the pain and loss of divorce by 
the caring and trust offered by the 
men's group. 

"The group helped me deal with my 
divorce over a six-month period. I felt 
it was very valuable, equal to any 
professional assistance I've gotten." 

"To the extent that I got in touch 
with my own feelings or shared with the 
group, I was able to bring that aware- 
ness to the counseling situation — it was 
very good interaction." 

"I went through my divorce early in 
the history of the group and what I 
learned from listening to others dealing 
with divorce was that I was not as open 
as I could have been during that time. 
I was going through a lot of pain, 
uncertainty and confusion and I didn't 
share as much of that with the group as 
I could have. I would have benefitted 
if I had been more open." 

Many other issues and personal cri- 
ses have also been brought to the group. 

"Dealing with work and my workahol- 
ism is one of the main things I come to 
the group with, and I learn more about 
myself, my work habits and lifestyle 
from those discussions than from col- 
leagues or family." 

"I think it's been a significant 
help in dealing with changes in my life 
— it has given me significant support to 
have people really interested in my 
situation. " 

"We all sense the significance of 
having that interest and support — that's 
why we've met so religiously. We keep 
the schedule going because it has mean- 
ing for us." 

"For me, the group acts as a sound- 
ing board. It doesn't necessarily cause 
things, but it helps me get through." 

"This is one of the few constants 
in my life. " 

The group is at a turning point. 
Once of its five members is moving to 
another city and the group will need to 
incorporate new people. Members have 
moved away before, but the group always 
maintains a connection to and an inter- 
est in former members. There's a feel- 
ing of vitality, a sense that the group 
will be around for a long time. This 
sense of hope and continuing relevance 
is expressed by one member this way: 

"As a child I expected my parents 
and the church to have the answers and 
set a standard of behavior. When I gave 
that up and became responsible for my 
decisions, I transferred that sense of 
trust to this group. We are a group of 
men with problems and potentials and a 
certain amount of awareness of things. 
By pooling our resources we are able to 
help each other. No one of us has all 
the answers or THE answer, but we have 
a trust in our ability to be pretty 
sensible together. That's been really 
helpful to me — knowing that I have you 

(I would like to thank the men's group 
members for their candor and for putting 
their trust in me. LTS) 


by Michael Chandler 



"My" is a loaded gun, 

made somewhere in the Neolithic, 

reloaded with each new age. 

What ancient muscle of supremacy 

causes my trigger finger to itch? 

Is man's potency measured in possession? 

A weapon threatening the woman to be monogamous 

so he can say, "my son," 

and still have his harem? 

Why does my face break 

into a horrible smile 

when you appear in small letters: "et ux" 

on the deed to the house. 


Late that evening 

the husband falls asleep in a chair. 

In a dream he dumps his feelings 

into the shoes of his sleeping children. 

The wife sits in the bedroom by an open 

Like a sad acrobat that slips, 

a lone leaf falls under Indian summer's 

For a moment 

she looks behind 

her mechanical bride's eyes, 

sees herself separate from her role, 

sees the diamond on her finger as coal. 

As geese speak overhead, 

she begins 

(For Dave) 

The guitar awakes in my step-son's hands, 

The wood remembers intimacy of owls. 

Strings sing of snowy wings, warm roots, 

our first long walk to buy his winter jacket. 

He sings of the electric storm before we met, 

The unfather sound of goodbye 

from the man who made him, 

driving his hatchet through his bedroom wall. 

Electric chords ignite his pain, 

there is a common burning ground between us. 

My father didn't leave. His hatchet voice 

drove out the free child inside me. 

My step-son and I lick each other's wounds. 

His guitar cries all night in my ears. 

This poem, a small raft, we sail on together. 

Reprinted from Taurus Magazine 






Robert Lyons Danly 

Review by Carolyn Carmichael 

Four months after reading J_n the 
Shade of Spring Leaves , there remains in 
my mind melancholy for the sad life of 
the young woman writer portrayed and 
admiration for her achievement. Author 
Robert Lyons Danly, a scholar of Far 
Eastern languages, has combined biogra- 
phy, critical history of the Japanese 
Meiji period literature and his own 
translations of nine of Higushi Ichiyo's 
stories. For the reader like me who 
can boast of no more profound knowledge 
of Japanese literature than a long ago 
dip into Lady Muraraki's The Tale of 
Genji and two or three contemporary nov- 
els, this plunge into late 19th century 
Japanese culture may not seem immediate- 
ly inviting. So, let this quotation 
from the preface offer enticement: 

"As if according to some uncanny 
presentiment, she (Ichiyo) documented 
her short, bittersweet life in an exqui- 
site diary, and then at just the right 
moment died a death befitting one of the 
melancholy heroines she herself created, 
thereby gaining a hold on the popular 
Japanese imagination for almost one 
hundred years now. In Tokyo in the mid- 
1970s her diary was read aloud every 
morning on the radio. All her best- 
known short stories have been made into 
successful motion pictures. In Higuchi 
Ichiyo, then, people have found what 
they went looking for: until recently 
she was the last woman of the old Japan; 
now she is modern Japan's first women's 
liberationism " 

The reader will not be on entirely 
unfamilar ground. The Meiji was a per- 
iod of political change and increasing 
Westernization so there are odd notes of 
what we identify as Victorianism. Trans- 
lations of English and French works 

became available and the possibility of 
serious fiction, the political novel 
(Disraeli!) and the naturalistic novel 
inspired writers to move out from the 
confining alternatives of classical 
imitation or frivolous entertainment. 
Japan of course had its own indiginous 
"Victorian" attitudes about the proper 
education, conduct and social function 
of females. 

However, Ichiyo had some advantages 
in her development as a writer not nor- 
mally available to the aspiring Victor- 
ian girl. She had a father with some 
pretention to gentility and some real 
education, who recognized his daughter's 
ability and fought her mother for the 
girl's chance for schooling beyond the 
minimum. She was permitted to go to a 
class where the composition of classical 
poetry was taught by way of conferring a 
cultural patina to young ladies, anala- 
gous perhaps to the obligatory piano 
lessons in our history. Ichiyo suffered 
a sense of social inferiority there but 
then and afterwards wrote many good 


poems in the classic manner — some four 
thousand in her short life. She read 
intensively and was essentially self- 
educated. The volumes of diaries were a 
long training in prose writing. Surely 
it must also have been an advantage that 
the two great acknowledged classics of 
medieval literature in Japan The Pillow 
Book of Sei Shuniyan and The Tale of 
Genji by Lady Muraraki were written by 
women. Think of the difference to us if 
Chaucer had been a woman. 

There are many passages from the 
diaries in this book and they read very 
well: daily observation and comment set 
down without flourish, no silliness, no 
moonlight and cherry blossom romanticism; 
all is serious purpose, intelligent ap- 
praisal and, I am afraid, humorlessness. 
The family had much misfortune. The 
father and older brothers died young of 
tuberculosis. The remaining mother and 
two daughters sank ever deeper into pov- 
erty. Ichiyo sewed and washed clothes 
with them to eke out a living, but did 
not give up her ambition to write. She 
fell disastrously in love with and made 
a model of a man who wrote popular stor- 
ies for newspapers. This was not the 
mentor she needed and it is enormously 
to her credit that she outgrew him with- 
out entirely relinquishing her feeling 
for him, some of which is probably re- 
flected in early stories of unrequited 

disappointment. Rarely is there an au- 
thorial comment: "The notion that life 
can be lived without rancor or regret 
is an illusion only love leads us to 
believe. How frightening is the mind of 
a woman with a broken heart! " My favo- 
rite story is "Child's Play," one of the 
later ones, which is about children grow- 
ing up in the shadows of the Pleasure 
Quarter, their gangs and quarrels and 
attachments as they grow into troubled 
adolescence. The style is clear, decep- 
tively simple, explicitly descriptive, 
implicitly judgmental. This is suddenly 
a very modern kind of writing. It made 
Ichiyo famous, sought out by the leading 
literary lights of Tokyo. Sadly, this 
success and its rewards were brief. 
Ichiyo, this phenomenon, died at the age 
of 24, also of tuberculosis. 

In the Shade of Spring Leaves by Robert 
Lyons Danly, Yale University Press. 
Illustrations, notes, bibliography, and 
index, 355 pages. 

At the extremity of their poverty 
the three women moved into a wretched 
place with the idea of setting up a 
little shop for which they had neither 
capital nor experience. This move was 
from the still marginally respectable 
part of Tokyo they had lived in, to the 
"Pleasure Quarter" where all activity 
was centered upon the Geisha houses. 
Here Ichiyo found her subject. Many of 
her best stories are about the lives of 
people associated one way or another 
with these enterprises: the rickshaw 
men, the seamstresses, laundresses, the 
families with daughters in the houses, 
the shopkeepers, the Geishas themselves. 
These stories are bleak. Fate is not 
kind to anyone. Cruel choices have to 
be made because of poverty, abandonment, 


by Peggy Jeffers 

The following is a compilation of 
books on male roles and how they are 
changing. They include discussions and 
personal views about the effects the 
women's movement has had on men and pro- 
vide documentation that men are moving 
beyond masculinity into humanity as they 
get back in touch with their feelings. 
The titles were selected from various 
sources; some were available for our 
inspection, others were not. We are 
indebted to Don Bennett of the Great 
Lakes Men's Network for the annotated 
entries on this list. 


The American Man by E. H. and J. H. 
Pleck. Prentice-Hall, 1980. 

Historical review of the male role 
in America. 

Be a_ Man! Males in Modern Society by 
Peter N. Stearns. Holmes and Meier, 

Review of male role in western 

Being _a Man: The Paradox of Masculinity 
by Donald H. Bell. Lewis Pub. Co., 1982. 

Report on the men that are creating 
their own new manhood. 

Changing Male Roles in Today's World by 
Richard P. Olsen. Judson Press, 1982. 

Christian minister's guide to men's 

A Choice of Heroes : The Changing Faces 
of American Manhood by Mark Gerzon. 
Houghton-Mifflin, 1982. 

Discusses past male behavior and the 
developing new types of males. 

The Male Ordeal: Role Crisis in a_ 
Changing World by E. Skejei and R. 
Rabbin. G. P. Putnam, 1981. 

The American Male by Myron Brenton. New 
York, NY: Coward & McCann, 1966. 

Changing Male Roles by Beverly Cassara. 
New York, NY: Random House, 19 78. 

About Men by Phyllis Chesler. New York, 
NY: Simon & Schuster, 1978. 

The Liberated Man: Beyond Masculinity 
by Warren Farrell. New York, NY: Ran- 
dom House, 197 4. 

The Male Crisis by Karl Bednark. New 
York, NY: Alfred A. Knoff, Inc., 1970. 

For Men Against Sexism: A Book of Read- 
ings by John Slotenberg. Albion, CA : 
Times Change Press, 1977. 

Equal Rights: The Male Stake by Leo 
Kanowitz. University of New Mexico 
Press, 1981. 

Legal study on male stake in the pas- 
sage of ERA. 

Jock: Sports and Male Identity by D. F. 
Sabo and R. Rumfola (eds.). Prentice- 
Hall, 1980. 

Critical analysis of sports. 

Men at Midlife by M. P. Farrell and S. 
D. Rosenberg. Auburn House, 1981. 

Study of male midlife experiences. 

Men and Friendship by Stuart Miller. 
Houghton-Mifflin, 1983. 

Male Bonding and the decline of true 
male friendships. 

Men's Rights: A Handbook for the '80s 
by Bill and Laurie Wishard. Cragmont, 

Handbook on men's rights in marriage, 
divorce, child custody and other 


The Myth of Masculinity by Joseph H, 
Pleck. MIT Press, 1982. 

Men's Bodies, Men's Selves by Sam Julty. 
Delta, 1980. 

Major social science study and cri- 
tique of past sex role research. 

Reference guide on health and many 
other men's issues. 

The New Male Female Relationship by 
Herb Goldberg. Morrow, 1983. 

Popularized guide for men and women 
to be friends and companions as well 
as lovers. 

Sexual Solutions: An Informative Guide 
by Michael Castleman. Simon and 
Schuster, 1981. 

Practical guide on male sex issues 
and sexuality. 

The Changing Roles of Men and Women by 
Edward Dahlstrom. New York, NY: Duck- 
worth, 1967. 

Sex-Role Stereotypes: Traditions and 
Alternatives by Susan A. Basow. Mon- 
terey, CA: Brooks/Cole, 1978. 

The 49% Majority: The Male Sex Role by 
Deborah David and Robert Brenton. New 
York, NY: Addi son-Wesley , 1976. 

Men, Women and Conflicts by George Bart- 
lett. New York, NY: G. P. Putnam Sons, 

The Homosexualization of America: The 
Americanization of the Homosexual by 
Dennis Altman. St. Martin's Press, 

Study of the gay community and 

Men and Women by Peter Swerdof f . New 
York, NY: Time Life Books, 197 5. 

The Hazards of Being Male by Herb Gold- 
berg. New York, NY: New American 
Library, 1976. 

Men, Groups and the Community by Thomas 
Robinson. New York, NY: Harper, 1940. 

Men, Women and Changes by Letha Scanzoni, 
New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 1981. 

Male Attitudes Toward Women by G. J. 
Barker-Benefield. New York, NY: Harper 
& Row, 1976. 


Ah, Men: What Do Men Want? A Panorama 
of the Male in crisis, His Past Pro- 
blems , Present Uncertainties, Future 
Goals by Bert Avedon (ed.). A & W Pub. , 

Interviews of well known men on what 
it means to be a man today. 

Men in the Middle by Peter Filene (ed.). 
Prentice-Hall, 1981. 

Essays by eight men on work and fam- 
ily in middle age. 

Sons and Mothers: Why Men Behave as 
They Do by Paul Olsen. M. Evans, 1981, 

Influence of mothers on male role 


Men Without Masks: Writings from the 
Journals of Modern Man by Michael Rubin 
(ed.). Addison-Wesley, 1980. 

Excerpts from the diaries of thirty 
men on parents, children, work, 
lovers and middle age. 

The Hite Report on Male Sexuality by 
Shere Hite. Alfred Kropf, 1981. 

Report of male sexuality from inter- 
views with men. 

My Life as a House Husband by Mike 
McGandy. New York, NY: New American 
Library, Signet, 1976. 


Men in Difficult Times: Masculinity 
Today and Tomorrow by Robert A. Lewis 
(ed.). Prentice-Hall, 1981. 

Essays and stories of men making 
major changes in their lives. 


Fathers Without Partners 

Fathers by Ross D. Parke. 
Press, 1981. 

Harvard Univ 

Study of various forms of fathering 
and how an involved father can make 
a difference in the life of the 

Fathers and Sons by Lewis Yablonsky. 
Simon and Schuster, 1982. 

Study and guide for the creation of 
healthy relations for fathers and 
adult sons. 

My Father, My Son: Intimate Relations 
by Dr. Lee Salk. G. P. Putnam, 1982. 

Interviews on father-son relation- 

Fathers and the Family After Marital 
Separation by K. M. Rosenthal and H. F. 
Keshet. Rowman and Littlefield, 1981. 

Study of the father-child bond after 

Sharing Parenthood After Divorce : An 
Enlightened Custody Guide for Mothers, 
Fathers and Kids by Ciji Ware. Viking 
Press, 1982. 

Handbook for sharing custody. 

The Father: His Role in Child Develop- 
ment by David B. Lynn. Monterey, CA: 
Brooks/Cole, 1974. 


Every Mother' s Son by Judith Arcana. 
Anchor Doubleday , 1983. 

Guide for raising sons that are non- 

Gentle Men for Gender Justice (The mag- 
azine of the National Men's Movement). 
306 N. Brooks St., Madison, WI 53715. 

to publish 

A seminar on how to 
get your words into print 

Thursday, J uly 14, 1983 
Madison, Wisconsin 

Communication Programs 
214 Lowell Hall 
610 Langdon Street 
Madison, WI 53706 




Dusable Museum 
740 East 56th Place 
Chicago, Illinois 60637 

Helen Hughes 


Governors State University 

Park Forest South, II 60466 

Dear Helen, 

I wish there were a better word than "thanks" to express 
our appreciation for the set of Creative Woman that you 
contributed to the Afro-American Genealogical and His- 
torical Society, Chicago (A.A.G.H.S.) for our Workshop, 
Trace Your Roots During Black History Month, held Sat- 
urday, February 19, 1983, at the Chicago Public Library 
Cultural Center. 

The Workshop was a success. We had about 100 people in 
attendance. Mr. Ralph W. Schneider, head of the History 
Department at the Chicago Public Library, won the mag- 
azines. I hope there is a subscription comming from him 
in the near future. 

Thank you ever so much for helping to make the Workshop 
a success. If there is ever anything I, or the 
A.A.G.H.S., can do for you, please don't hesitate to 
cal 1 us . 



I have subscribed to The Creative Woman 
since its inception and have enjoyed 
each subsequent issue. To show my support 
I am enclosing a $25.00 donation. I 
would like the framed print of Judy 
Chicago's Dinner Party. 

Keep up the good work 
of what you 've done. 

I am proud 

Sheryl L. Walters 
Matteson, Illinois 

Enclosed contribution to the Foundation 
is to be earmarked for The Creative 
Woman . At a time when budgets are under 
intense pressure, I want to make sure 
that this magazine and its contribution 
to cultural and educational values keeps 

Addie Harri 

Stuart T. Hodes 

225} 10th Place 

Manhattan Beach, CA. 90266 

23 May 1983 

The Creative Woman 
Governors State Unl 
Forest South, 

Your "Women In 

Law" issue was disturbing which, I fe 

si, is more complime 

than to say it 

was interesting. I suspect you did w 

lat you wanted: 

demonstrated t 

at women were at least as competent a 

> men, in occupation 

created by men 

and in "new ways of thinking" create 

by men. But 

I must confess 

to some despair at the fading possibi 

ity that women 

(Bill Dodd, CEO of the GSU Foundation, 
repl ied as follows : 

Thank you yery much for your generous 
gift and welcome to our 1983 Century 

During times like these it is all too 
often the fragile yet elegant expres- 
sions of academic life that get "cut". 
Thank you for assisting us in funding 
one of GSU's most beautiful and effect- 
ive self-expressions.) 

Does the lawyer's "way of thinking" increase compassion? Does it 
remotely serve the cause of justice? Does it 
perspective? Or is it merely an elegant, clas 
polemics? Might one not study, with as much p 
ways of thinking necessary to becoming a chess 

story brought 

rs to my eyes. But the premise exploit 
s really mean to refute the message of 
etaphor of the story? 

J. D. Knox 

D. Kr 


I have mailed separately a book that I 
think says what I think about sexual 
equality better than I can say it-- 
The New Male by Herb Goldberg, William 
Morrow and Co. , 1979. 

Alan Hamilton 

Grass Valley, California 
(Thanks for remembering us. See the 
reviews of Goldberg's latest book in 
this issue.) 



Contact: M. Donnelly 503-753-9384 


CALYX 'mj 

A Journal of Art and Literature by Wfomen^ " 

CORVALLIS - The editors of CALYX, A Journal of Art and Literature by Women, 
announce a SPECIAL ISSUE which will be devoted to the work of Native Ameri- 
can and Chicana/Hispanic Women's art and literature. The issue is scheduled 
for publication in Fall, 1983. Deadline for submission to the SPECIAL ISSUE 
is July 15, 1983. 

RO. Box B, Corvallis, OR 97330 1-503-753-9384 

Susan Eckerr & Associates 

308 Sherman Ave. 

Evanston. IL 60201 

Adventures in the Outdoors for Women Over 30 


The Ohio State University 

Communications Services 
102 Administration Building 
190 North Oval Mall 
Columbus, Ohio 43210 
Phone: 614-422-2711 

The National Women's Studies Association 
will focus on "Feminist Education: 
Quality and Equality" at its fifth 
annual convention June 26-30 at Ohio 
State University. The convention, which 
is expected to attract 2,000 participants 
from the United States and throughout the 
world, will be a creative exchange of 
ideas on feminist teaching, research and 
community services. 

THE CREATIVE WOMAN is a quarterly news- 
let teT7Tournal ; each issue focuses on a 
different theme. I received two review 
copies, "Women in the Wilderness' (Spr 81) 
and "Third World Women" (Fall 81). A 
sample copy is $1.50 and subs, are $5 a 
year --a modest price for a great amount 
of material. Make checks payable to The 
Creative Woman / GSU (Governors State Univ.) 
Park Forest South, IL 60^66. 

August ll-15th 1983 

Men Co-operating For A Change 

-to be held in Ann Arbor, Michigan 
For Information: 

Nic Tamborrelli, 1-313/665-^926 


We wish to publicly apologize to Carol Anen, 
author of "The Donor," a short story which 
appeared in our Winter 1983 issue. Our 
publication of the story was in error. 
We did not have the author's knowledge or 
consent, and did not know the story had 
already been featured in another magazine. 
We offer sincere regrets for any 
embarrassment we have caused firs. Amen 
or others. 




MIMI KAPLAN has published an article, 
"Viewpoint: The Cancer Patient", in the 
April issue of Cancer Nursing . Mimi 
wrote an article for TCW on this topic 
in Volume 3, 1980. 

MARGARET BRADY was selected as the 
1983 Young Career Woman by the Palos 
Business and Professional Women's Club 
She was cited for outstanding achieve- 
ments in her career, her community in- 
volvement and scholastic honors. 
She also received the Silver Feather 
award at the Illinois Women's Press 
Association annual awards banquet, 
garnering a total of 21 points in the 
journalism contest sponsored yearly 
by the IWPA. 

A third honor was the selection of 
her poem to be read on Dial-a-Poem 
in Chicago. Triple honors! Triple 
congratul ations ! 

Margaret Brady 

ELIZABETH OHM, following her resig- 
nation as administrative librarian of 
Park Forest Library, has announced 
her plans: a ten-month camping trip 
in Africa consisting of a Sahara 
crossing, a trek across central 
Africa to Kenya, and then a trip 
up the length of the continent from 
Johannesberg to Cairo. Then she 
will settle in Tucson, study arch- 
eology and anthropology in Arizona; 
and Cholula, Mexico studying the 
Spanish language and the Mayan 
culture. Readers may look forward 
to some fascinating reports from 
Elizabeth in the next few years. 



Will the REAL MAN please stand up? 

After publishing twenty-two consec- 
utive issues written by, for and about 
women, this twenty-third issue breaks 
new ground as we turn over our pages 
to 14 men. What is the essence of mas- 
culinity? How would it look if women 
wrote this issue? The symbol for male 
suggests energy expressed in motion, 
and the symbol for female suggests 
energy expressed in self-containment. 

Each symbol is realized perfectly in 
the generative cells — the sperm and the 
ovum. What logic is there in extrapo- 
lating from these biological facts to 
theories of temperament and personality? 
As Dimitroff has shown, it is a risky 
matter to try to define the opposite 
sex, since what we may be unwittingly 
revealing is the unconscious contents 
of our animus or anima. For this rea- 
son, it seems proper to let men define 
themselves at this moment of history, 
and to pause to listen to those deeper 
male voices. Many of our friends de- 
clined to write, pleading "nothing to 
say," or "not ready yet," or "I wrote it 
and decided it wasn't worth printing so 
I tore it up." Self-definition is not 
an easy task. My best friend, Stu, who 
declined to write, gave permission to 
quote him as having learned from the 
feminist movement something that has 
changed him. He says that he now has 
increased respect for the woman who has 
chosen the homemaker option; he now has 
an increased appreciation for the value 
of her work, for the tremendous size of 
her task, and for the tedium and drudg- 
ery that make up much of it. The pro- 
vider, after all, only provides the in- 
come whereas survival of the human fam- 
ily depends upon someone who will mend 
and care for the home, the meals, the 
skinned knees and broken dreams of 
childhood, the midnight illnesses, 
doctor's visits and school meetings. 

Are men changing? Has the feminist 
movement had an impact on our fathers, 
brothers, sons, husbands, friends and 
lovers? Most assuredly. The extent of 
that impact was not evident to us until 
we began collecting the articles by men 
for this issue. There are still resist- 
ance and ambivalent feelings. Stereo- 
types and prejudices are persistent and 
durable. Yet, there are changes! One 
of the great rewards of editorship is 
the opportunity to come to know wonder- 
ful and talented people, and this issue 
is no exception. Over ten years ago I 
acquired the photograph by Jan Saudek 
which appears on our cover. This beau- 
tiful and tender image, a self-portrait, 
captures the combined strength and gen- 
tleness that is the true mark of mature 
masculinity. It illustrates the theme 
of this issue — men as nurturers express- 
ing their full human possibilities to a 
greater extent than they have felt free 
to do in the past. In the process of 
tracking permission to use this print, I 
re-established an old acquaintance with 
David Travis, the dedicated curator of 
photography at the Art Institute of Chi- 
cago; who led me to the Jacques Baruch 
Gallery and Mrs. Anne Baruch who kindly 
granted permission for us to use the 
work of her client (Jan Saudek is in 
Prague, Czechoslovakia) and in the pro- 
cess discovered that my print is now 
considered a classic. A series of tele- 
phone conversations and correspondence 
with the poet Michael Chandler opened ray 
eyes to the wonder of the growth process 
in one sensitive man. Michael told me 
that only when men get in touch with 
their own fragility will they be able to 
relate to women, that women can help men 
a lot to wake up. He sent us this brief 
biographical statement: "I'm a 35 year 
old male beginning to recognize my own 
fragility. All my education has come 
through the woman inside me. My aim is 
to be an Idiot, in the ancient sense of 
the word, that is, to be oneself. My 
work involves the idea that the primary 
function of sex is not procreation, but 
is a miraculous access to the very cre- 
ative energy which is the seat of our 


human nature." We welcome heartily the 
arrival of these men. 

The Quarterly received an honor re- 
cently when the South Suburban chapter 
of NOW granted us the Susan B. Anthony 
Award for Pursuit of Truth. Given dur- 
ing National Women's History Week, the 
citation reads, "The Creative Woman is 
recognized for giving voice and image to 
the thoughts and talents of area women." 
Also receiving awards at the event were 
Harriet Gross for her work, in Women's 
Studies and the establishment of the 
Women's Resource Center and Ellen Dohner 
for her ministry to the Unitarian-Uni- 
versalist Community Church. Both are 
members of our advisory council. It 
was a happy moment, one that makes the 
long nights worthwhile. 

We say a fond farewell to Lynn with 
this issue, her last as managing editor. 
Her "fingerprints" have been on every 
page of every issue for the past five 
years. She will be sorely missed. We 
wish her good fortune in her new work in 
publishing and promise our readers that 
they will see her byline again in these 
pages. Lynn is especially interested in 
working on an issue on Diaries. Watch 
for a profile on L.T.S. in the next is- 

Finally, a report on the appeal for 
donations in our last column. So far 
the GSU Foundation has received a total 
of $625, restricted to our use. A won- 
derful beginning. To survive, to pre- 
vail and to endure, we need each of you 
to renew your subscription and to send a 
gift subscription to a friend. For do- 
nors of $25 or more, we have a good se- 
lection of framed prints many of which 
first appeared in these pages. Send us 
your ideas, criticisms, encouragement 
and support. Help us to "keep on keep- 
ing on." 



NOT / 

FOR A s 




„,c A N B. ANTHC 


Fall 1983 - GODDESS: Past, Present, Future 

Also in planning stages: 

Poetry and Fiction 


Performing Arts: Theatre, Music, Dance, Film 

Diaries/ Journals/Autobiographies 


A Message from 




(Address at Friends School, May 24, 1907) 

Make checks payable to The Creative Woman/GSU. 
Please send me The Creative Woman for one year. Enclosed is my check or money order for $ 

$ 7.00 regular subscription 

$ 9.00 foreign subscription 

$10.00 donation and automatic subscription 

$15.00 institutional subscription 

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